The last few weeks have been riddled with doc appointments and stress that blogging was not the first thing on my mind :-) ... but I am okay now and ready to blog away... that being said i will be breaking this down into several blogs :-).
First let me tell you what's been up with the doc appts... My pacemaker has been going off quite a bit more then usual lately--- i was trying to chalk it up to stress --- but when you have to go to the ER more then once (try one to two times a week --sometimes more) in a month --- it might be time to get a second opinion on what the ER docs can't figure out. I went from being told it was stress to "if we can't figure it out and get your pulse rate steady and up -- along with your blood pressure, you might not make it much longer".... WOW! what words to hear ... so i schedule a appt with my cardiologist and my pcp -- things i had held off doing because i seriously believed it to be STRESS ... my pcp orders a few more catscans (still need to get these done), and my cardiologist gives me the answer that calms my nerves... I have a "leaky" heart :-) --- what this means is that one of my valves that help move the blood along doesn't quite close all the way so some blood goes the wrong way --- it's not too bad right now, but because when this happens it makes the heart "skip" a beat -- and my pacemaker is programmed to pick up these abnormalties-- my pacemaker goes off and does what it's suppose to --- the ANSWER has been given... now for the actions to take--- NONE :-) for now anyways--- just have to be monitored -- if it gets worse then surgery will be needed but for now I AM GOOD... however, he is running more test as well just to be sure nothing else is up --- got to love that "however" they love to throw in there.
So while that may not sound like good news to some .... it is great news to me for the simple fact i now KNOW what is going on. Now here is the food for thought... isn't it amazing how calming KNOWING makes us feel!?!... but in reality KNOWING does not really change the outcome... we fight against the unknown because we are not in control, and that scares us-- which offers the downward effect... but even KNOWING does not gives us complete control, because there can always be a surprise around the corner that will turn what you think you know into a whole new revelation. My goal for the next month is to "let go"... not worry about "knowing", but enjoy and LIVE to the fullest. As my message to myself says " Where I am right now is PERFECT". I love you guys that have helped me to get here.
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1 comment:
Glad to hear from you! You look GORGEOUS by the way!
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